well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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