I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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