Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
