don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found the puke drawer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
