Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
