I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
