Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
