exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
