No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
