Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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