i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
