i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
