It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
