I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize