mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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