it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
