You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize