Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
