I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
