Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
