end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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