that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need to calm my uterus...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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