We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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