If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize