Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
