Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
