Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Congratulations! We have a period
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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