I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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