life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
