apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
