He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
