she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
