its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
