fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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