we have pet lesbian snakes
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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