I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize