he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
