I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
