there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think your dad took our porno
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
