are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
