Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
