Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize