i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
