Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
