Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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