he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
