Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
