Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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