Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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