OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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