I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
