He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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