The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
