sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
where are my eyebrows?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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