Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
