i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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