Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
