Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
