So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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