OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
