Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
