like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
