i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
